Unresolved - Part 4

[kymley]

Unresolved – Part 4

By Kymley 
About: Kevin and Scotty
Rate: PG 
Disclaimer: Not mine. Just messing with the characters if B&S
Summary: Set in the episode Resolved because they still got back together too quickly on the show so I’m filling in the gaps for myself.

A/N - So it's been a while since I've look at this story, we all know why, I had to reread it again to make sure it flowed properly, but I hope you enjoyed it!

The radio was playing when they left their counselling session; No Doubt had always been one of Scotty’s favourite bands. The words the songs this time hit him and even Kevin a bit too hard.

You and me
We used to be together
Every day together always

I really feel
That I’m losing my best friend
I can’t believe
This could be the end

Kevin and Scotty steal a quick look at each other; they both knew that if they couldn’t find a way pass this situation that they would be lost each other; they have been best friends basically since the DUI charge.  Together nearly every day since; how would they survive.

It looks as though you’re letting go
And if its real,
Well I don’t want to know

Don’t speak
I know just what you’re saying
So please stop explaining
Don’t tell me cause it hurts
Don’t speak
I know what you’re thinking
I don’t need your reasons
Don’t tell me cause it hurts

Kevin didn’t want any explanation from Scotty; but knew from their first meeting with the counsellor that he would have to hear it. And he knew it was going to hurt; both of them, because Kevin’s pain was Scotty’s pain. It hurts.

Our memories
They can be inviting
But some are altogether
Mighty frightening

As we die, both you and I
With my head in my hands
I sit and cry

Memories of the cheating will hurt but remembering the good times with Scotty hurts as well; sometimes Kevin wonders if it actually hurts more. It proves that they were happy, so blissfully happy that he wonders how it happened to them.

Don’t speak
I know just what you’re saying
So please stop explaining
Don’t tell me cause it hurts no no no
Don’t speak
I know what you’re thinking
And I don’t need your reasons
Don’t tell me cause it hurts

Kevin quickly turns off the radio; the song just reflects their situation too closely for him. He hopes that the counselling will work, though part of him is doubtful. He knows all too well that marriage counselling doesn’t always work he only has to look at Sarah and Joes marriage as well as Tommy and Julia’s marriage to know that it doesn’t.

Scotty was glad that Kevin switched off the radio; as much as he used to love Gwen Stefani voice; right now in this very moment he hated it. It proved how much pain he gave to Kevin; he knows it was the right thing to do for their marriage but he wishes he could take it all back to have Kevin smile at him. He knows from their meeting today there was hope but it was so small he didn’t know what to do.

They drove in silence for the rest of the journey; both of them replaying their discussions they had earlier in the meeting. What they had said and what was told to them.

***

You know, I saw a spark of my Kevin today; someone who I hadn’t seen in weeks and before that it had been over a year. The humour that comes so easily to him; every day that I knew him, though some days were harder than the others (Aaron) he hadn’t seem Kevin properly since the day of Michelle’s call. Kevin just disappeared and I disappeared with him. I quickly found myself after Marcus – too bad that the thing that saved me might destroy me as well. What was I thinking; I can’t even give reason to myself, maybe because it wasn’t me or at least not really me.

Scotty had only been writing for a few minutes when he discovered that this was going to be much hard than he originally thought it would be. Scotty had always been one for taking charge of his life; that’s why he suggested counselling in the first place. This whole writing down what you feel felt weird for him; especially when he would rather just tell Kevin what he was feeling. Though he guessed at least this was a step in the right direction.

Kevin, my smart, handsome husband, now he was good with words. Not just talking and explaining but also writing. He knew exactly what to say, both verbally and non-verbally. He’d read this and laugh at it; I’ve never been good at all this. Even Saul is in charge of the Menu – I might create the Menu’s food but he describes them so... perfectly or brilliant.. I’ve never been good at it. All I’ve ever done is act.

Oh, god, that is it. I didn’t like the way that Kevin treated me so I left, I left after Valentine’s Day, I nearly left after the Jason situation (twice) and when I couldn’t leave when Kevin disappeared on me I acted, I wanted some attention, well I got it. Why didn't I just yell at him or at least talk to him.

Scotty looks up from where he is writing; Kevin is deep inside writing, his nose close to the pages of the book, so focused. He wonders what he is writing, he wants to ask but he can’t, he just doesn’t know anyone more. He can’t initiate it, he wants Kevin to but he knows that he is asking for too much. He is waiting for a sign from Kevin, a sign that Kevin still wants him.

It’s still about ATTENTION, I want Kevin to show me some. God, I need to grow up, take some responsibility for my damn actions. I am not a child, I don’t need attention. Some care, a little bit of love but I don’t need attention. I’m not going to look for attention from anyone else; I’m NOT going to make the same mistake again, never again. It wasn’t worth what I could have might lose. I’m not going to lose Kevin again, I let him fall through my finger too many times. Never, ever, again.

Scotty closes the book; he has a headache from thinking about it too much, he just needs a break from it. He looks at Kevin and sees that Kevin has finished writing as well. His book is closed and he is just looking, more like staring, at Scotty. Like he wants to say something but he doesn’t know how to.

“Scotty... I th...” Kevin is stumbling with his words “I think...I want...I mean...I need to...know” he manages to get the words out eventually. Not very articulate but he managed to say them.

Kevin doesn’t have to say anything else, Scotty knows exactly what he means. He walks over to the table that Kevin is sitting at, he sits directly opposite Kevin and looks him directly in the eyes.

End of Part 4