Unresolved – Part 10
About: Kevin and Scotty
Disclaimer: Not mine. Just messing with the characters if B&S
Summary: Set in the episode Resolved because they still got back together too quickly on the show so I’m filling in the gaps for myself.
N/A - So I've been distracted with RL - sorry but I doubt it will be the last time. So a brief reminder of what's happened so far. When Kevin moved back in their apartment; after a few days of non communication they have gone to counselling. Kevin is working through the grief stages - denial lasted until Scotty gave the details of the cheating, anger came but hasn't really disappear. He is currently in the bargaining stage. Not much physical has happen so far beside a kiss and some hugs. Hope it was worth the wait - please tell me!
Two days later
“Scotty” Kevin said looking at Scotty from across the room.
“Yes” Scotty says looking up from the book he was reading and taking of his glasses; he is never sure what Kevin is going to say to him lately. He seems less angry with him but he doubts it will last.
“Did you really mean it” Kevin said carefully trying to get the right words “when you said it was a great idea” Kevin said hopefully.
“What great idea?” Scotty asked racking his brain.
Kevin slouched in disappointment, maybe it hadn’t been as important to Scotty as he thought it was “Never mind” Kevin said timidly.
Scotty got up from his position on the sofa and moved over to where Kevin was to confront him “Don’t do that, don’t bring up something and then dismiss it. Why don’t you just talk to me” he looked deeply into Kevin’ soulful eyes “like we used to” he said hopefully “Please” he added with a small smile.
Kevin smiled a small smile back to Scotty; he knew Scotty was right but without the security of the counsellors’ office he felt vulnerable talking to Scotty. He wished they could go back a couple of years; to a time in their lives when talking was easy and fun or hard and difficult but he was never impossible. Maybe they could just pretend that they were back there and that everything was perfect.
Maybe if they went back to that night and just changed the outcome; maybe with a kid of their own they could be happy. Put the cheating in a box and just get rid of it.
“I just wondered if you still thought adopting would be a great idea” Kevin said hopefully.
Scotty was floored by the subject, yes he would love to adopt a child with Kevin and he said as much “Yes, I think it would be a great idea” Scotty said and some of the relief knots through Kevin’ body, maybe a bit too much relief in Scotty idea.
“Then why don’t we?” Kevin said smiling; it was a genuine smile that Scotty hadn’t seen in some time; when he was excited about something.
“We will; in the future” Scotty was slightly worried about where this topic was going.
“No, I mean now” Kevin said “why wait?” Kevin asked; this was the answer to all their problems.
“You can’t mean right now, could you?” Scotty asked carefully and gently; Kevin couldn’t actually be serious. They were still in some serious trouble with their relationship. Besides the kiss the other day they hadn’t been intimate with each other; Scotty was waiting for something from Kevin, he wasn’t sure what exactly but this wasn’t it.
“Why not?” Kevin answered; he couldn’t understand why Scotty was so hesitant with the idea “it would be like we go back in time and start up right where we left before...” Kevin gestured about the night and the conversation.
“I told you I cheated” Scotty finishing the sentence because he knew that Kevin wasn’t able to and also because he didn’t seem to want to hear the truth.
Kevin continued to motion with his hands “That wouldn’t matter if we had the child we wanted, we could start again, and pretend that it didn’t happen. The act itself and that night” Kevin said pleading.
“But it did happen” Scotty couldn’t help saying and saw the wince come across Kevin’s face.
“A kid could fix everything” Kevin started but was stopped by Scotty.
“No” Scotty said more forceful than he planned and he calmed himself “No, we won’t bring a child into our lives until our lives our together and we are ready for them. I will not bring a child here when we aren’t us and when we or should I say you won’t talk to me” his eye were hurt by the development of the conservation; Kevin knew how Scotty was raised and he couldn’t believe that Kevin would suggest bringing in a child to their lives now. It was everything he wanted and everything he knew he couldn’t have; at least not right.
“I’m talking to you right now” Kevin said getting angry; he had a solution and he couldn’t understand why Scotty didn’t want to take it, it could fix everything.
“Barely” Scotty countered “and you still won’t let me touch you”
Both of the men were faced off together, staring at each other from inches away.
“Why don’t you try?” Kevin said being so close to Scotty was putting on a different type of pressure.
Scotty could sense a change in the tone and saw a smirk in Kevin that he hadn’t seen in ages. Scotty grabbed hold of Kevin at the shoulders and wrapped himself around Kevin and pulled him as close to himself as possible before kissing Kevin breathlessly.
Kevin gave back as good as he got; pulling Scotty close to his body. He could fill his body react to Scotty and he could tell that Scotty had noticed to.
After they were both out of breath from their kiss; they stood in the middle of the room holding on to each other.
Kevin looked at Scotty and smirked “See you can touch me” for the first time since he had been told about the cheating he wasn’t focused on it but instead on his husband and he wanted this man and a child or children in their future. That was until he realized that he had realized this; the cheating was still in his head.
Scotty noticed the moment that Kevin thought about the cheating; one moment he was smiling happily and the next a thought had crossed Kevin’s face. Scotty started to withdraw from Kevin; presuming this is what he wanted.
Kevin caught the movement of Scotty and the distance he was making but this time he didn’t want it.
“No” Kevin said confidently and dragged Scotty back into a hug “Scotty, don’t leave me” he was so worried about whether Scotty would stay with him now and forever. He needed Scotty and he wanted him.
But for now a hug is all either of them needed.
“I don’t understand why we can’t just get a child and forget about the rest of it?” Kevin said starting the same argument again that they’ve had over the last few days.
“And I don’t understand what you don’t understand. We can’t have children when you still haven’t forgiven me about everything. Forgetting and pretending isn’t the same Kevin. We can’t bring a child into our lives and then break up because you couldn’t forgive me; I’m not putting a child through that or us or me. I can’t put myself through getting everything I and we’ve wanted for years just to have it torn away from me Kevin, I just can’t” Scotty exploded but by the end of the speech he was worn out and on verge of tears.
“But I’ll get there” Kevin disputed he leant over to Scotty and took his hand “so why are we waiting”
“There are no guarantees in this Kevin” Scotty said miserably; he started to smooth Kevin’ hand gently “you might not forgive me”
“But I will” Kevin said securely and there was a twinge of doubt in his stomach that he couldn’t ignore.
Scotty could tell that even Kevin didn’t believe that last sentence.
“All I wanted was everything to be back to normal and you’re being so difficult about it” Kevin said moving away from Scotty is disappoint “I can’t believe you right now”
“And what do you think Kevin” Scotty said facing off against his husband “that we can jump some steps and return to normal. You want us to be fixed and have children then let’s do this the right way. You forgive me and then we can talk about kids” Scotty said strongly.
“Okay, I forgive you, that’s what you want to hear” Kevin said but there was a slight shake in his voice.
“It’s exactly what I want to hear” Scotty said sincerely “but you don’t mean it and I don’t want you to say those words every again unless you actually mean them” Scotty continued as he walked away from Kevin “I going to the cafe”.
“Walk away” Kevin said angry, how is it that Scotty is still the saint in the situation. I’m trying to solve our problems but Scotty is pushing him away, why does he have to act so superior “it’s what you always do best; you know besides cheating” he continued sarcastically but he immediately regretted the words. Especially worse those words had registered on Scotty’s face; the pain and hurt was the most obvious with some anger.
“Scotty...” Kevin started to say but Scotty was out of the room with a slamming door behind him “I’m sorry...please tell me I haven’t messed this up for good... I really need Scotty... I’d do anything to forget the last few months. Please” he continued as he crawled up into a ball of the sofa.
End of Part 10